Love is…

4 of #100DaysToOffload

I can't believe love is simply a matter of choice, of ticking the checkboxes of compatibility.

In the olden times, when colleagues used to sit together in a big open office, my colleague and friend, Paula, was shocked to hear I began a relationship with my wife by asking her out on a date.

Though it was more than a date; it was a holiday.

Paula, who was only 37 years old, found this an alien concept. She was more accustomed to smartphone apps and swiping right or left. (I had to google the difference between right and left).

I told Paul the story of when time stood still for me; when the earth and all the humming noise in the world around me, stopped.

After starting a new job in an adjacent department, I visited my ex-boss to tell her how I was getting on and about a recent trip to Edinburgh, Scotland.

My ex-boss, Rita, remarked how much she loved Edinburgh and longed to go back. Without hesitation, I asked, “Why don't we go back together”?

The office noise faded into the background, and as I stood by her desk, I experienced the oddest few seconds of my life. I felt as if a part of my life fell into place. It was like something broken, became fixed at that moment.

I knew we connected. Something in the universe clicked.

Rita said yes and, I said, “Great”!

A few months later Rita and I set off to Edinburgh and, on the last day of the holiday, our conversation came to the point I confessed my attraction for her.

We shared our first kiss.

The last day in Edinburgh was sunny and warm. As we strolled around the streets before heading back home, everything felt natural; like we had always known each other.

Four weeks later, with no planning, I proposed to Rita as we lay by a lake.

She said yes, and we married exactly one year later; on the same date as our final Edinburgh day – 14th June.

That day in the office we saw something unusual happen and our relationship has never waned.

So here we are, still in love and travelling life's journey together.

From time to time I wake up wondering if it's 1997, not 2020. After 23 years of marriage, I'd prefer life to be slower, not zipping by at the speed of light.

I made another attempt to explain love, but can we ever fully understand it?

For me, #love is #spiritual energy, not a formula found through likes and dislikes; but maybe that works well for others.

I’m publishing this as part of #100DaysToOffload. You can join in by visiting

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